Helping Others with Their Calling
In my roles in ministry and education, many have come to me seeking help to discern their “calling.” The whole idea of Christian “calling” can be confusing, and can create stress for people who sense a call from God, but aren’t sure what it is or how to respond. My own vocational path has been long and circuitous—certainly not a straight shot at a clearly determined end goal. Along the way, I’ve learned a lot about how God calls and equips his servants for the work that he has dreamed up for them. I’ve also learned much from years of walking alongside people of all ages, who were seeking to follow where God was leading. I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned, in the hope that it may help you guide others along the path of discerning their calling.
Listen to their story
Each person’s path is unique. The range of call-stories in Scripture portray a wide array of ways that God calls his servants, and a vast scope of the types of service. The best way to begin to help someone who is struggling with a sense of calling is to let them tell you their individual story. Listen to their experiences; ask them what they have discerned so far. Probe a bit into why they feel and think as they do about their calling. This information will help you adapt any insight or advice directly to their situation, and avoid generalized platitudes.
Provide assurances
It may help to begin by letting them know they don’t need a clearly defined mission statement. Often a person approaches their calling from the perspective that it must be some specific goal, such as a type of ministry or service in a certain place or to a people group. It may be, but in the vast majority of callings that I’ve encountered, it is rarely so well-defined. Some people get the Moses-call: “Go do this specific thing for these particular people.” But more often I think they get the Abram-call: “Just go. I’ll tell you where and when, and let you know when you get there.” Assure them that they don’t need to have a clear final goal. The key is if God is calling them to do something (other than what they are currently doing), they should respond.
Help them broaden their possibilities. It’s important to remind them that all Christians are called to follow and serve Jesus, so it may be that someone’s calling lies outside of what most would consider a “ministry.” They don’t need to be thinking inside the box of pastoral, or even exclusively “Christian” service. Many Christians are called to what are considered “secular” vocations.
Explain that a calling isn’t an end point on a journey. It’s the journey itself. Simply put, our calling was voiced by Jesus to the first disciples, and hasn’t changed: “Follow me.” If we are doing our best to follow Jesus each day, then we can trust him that we are fulfilling our calling. Any changes we need to make in life will arise out of the events and decisions in our daily lives. I was fulfilling my calling when I taught middle school. I was also fulfilling it when I did youth ministry during seminary. In each stage of life that led me to where I am now, my calling was to do what God called me to at that time. Our calling includes every day of every year of our lives.
This leads to a key principle for fulfilling our calling: you only need to know the next step. God rarely shows us the end at the beginning; but he does shine a light on the path right in front of us. If you can help them determine what their next step is, they’re making progress.
Finally, assure them it’s not something they can “miss” or “mess up.” God’s plan already includes “all things” (Rom 8:28-29), so trust him to work out his calling in his timing. We are not required to follow God’s plan perfectly; just to trust and follow him as best we can. He’ll take care of the rest (see Phil 1:6).
Offer some practical tips
Once you’ve allayed their fears, move to some practical advice. Be sure to tailor your comments to their personal call-story that they’ve shared. Help them identify types of things they do well or have done well in the past. Then brainstorm with them the types of service that match those skills and tasks. Always relate this back to what they have already shared about their interests and hopes.
Help them identify what aspects they enjoy most about what they do now (or have done). Look for ways to see how those dynamics they enjoy might be present in other types of service (relevant to what they’ve shared with you so far).
Work with them to assess what resources and opportunities are currently or easily available to them, that could become part of their “next step.” These could be things such as training opportunities in nearby churches, attending a conference, or completing a certificate or degree at a seminary or Bible college. It may be an opportunity to volunteer in a ministry in order to gain perspective about the type of work they feel called to do. You might simply encourage them to do some independent research in an area to explore options for a good next step.
Gently introduce any additional ideas that you think might be helpful to them. Because all people’s paths are unique, our help needs to be adapted for each individual. But I’ll leave you with two things that I think are vital for every situation. First, from James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Assure them that God eagerly desires to share his wisdom with us; it’s a promise! Second, remind them that living out our calling is a lifelong process that God promises to fulfill. God wants us to walk in the works he’s prepared for us to do (see Eph 2:10). In other words, God is on our side; he’s not trying to keep you from fulfilling your calling. He’ll walk you through it. All the way.
John Swope is an educator and leader offering pastoral care, leadership development, and church consultation through Parhelion Counseling & Care, LLC. He lives by the mantra, “Question everything,” and is known for seeing things from a perspective that others often miss.